伊恩·汉伦

  What must one have to be a writer? probably something to write with. Something to write about, assuredly. A good grasp of grammar and the ability to punctuate appropriately. Like i said earlier, something to write with, on, around; be it on a rock, with a rock, wishing that someone would get around to inventing a goddamn pencil (which is mainly just more rock, but processed).

I could write a story about the guitar in the corner of my room: about how it made the long trip I will most never make across the Pacific Ocean and the trip to fort fuck it had to endure before arriving at the guitar center I purchased it at. That might be interesting, given the anthropomorphizing of said guitar and shit, it might even make a killer bi-lingual children's special some day. In fact, fuck it; Im writing the antics of Ya-Mi, the japanese guitar who lost her mother to the vicious piano companies.

What do I know about being a writer? What has been thrown into my goddamn head and mixed about like a very, very healthy smoothie except make with long island ice teas and xanax? Here's a little of what I know:

If it isn’t making dollars, it isn’t making sense.

Mommy and daddy are pretty fucking passe.

Whoops, I made a list. Without bullet points.

You have to be an alcoholic, or caffeine addict, addict in general, nicotine engorged fuck of a human who wishes they could have given up on the rest of humanity but despite the periods of binge or isolation still yearn for that blessed sense of unity with the rest of your world.

You need strong calf muscles. For all the running about getting caffeine, alcohol, heroin, etc...

You need hope.

You need good musical taste.

You need scars; lots of them. An I don’t know that meghan has any, but after reading my brains out, that was the impression I got.

I don't want to give credit to her because for all I know she hates reading my stuff, but Meghan Pinson has a lot to do with what I chose to do; what I chose to be proud of.

All the same, Meghan, Thank you.